Information

So let’s start all over again. Empty the cup. All over again.

After huge, massive loads of information have entered my cerebrum, me being unable to hold back the throngs of bits and bytes with my thalamus, I resign, sitting in the train back home again.

I start all over again. Empty the cup. All over again.

Today you can get information everywhere. No wonder, for it is the age of information in an information society. Countless websites torture you with news of the world. Even if you restrict your interests to scientific websites and news, it is amazing what you can find. Truckloads of innovation, giant heaps of breakthroughs, countless wizards of the modern age, inhabit newspapers, TV and the web. It is fantastic.

But I start all over again. I will empty the cup. All over again.

Here, where I am sitting, it has become peaceful now. Although we are moving at a speed of 220km/h it is rather quiet. Is that an illusion? Or is everything else an illusion: synthetic biology, nanotechnology, stem cell research, IVF, nuclear power.

I start all over again. I am emptying the cup right now. All over again.

Finally, I stop considering all these technoscientific advances. Even my private worries stop bothering me. It is easy. The secret is: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7…

Sochi

Some time ago I had a very strenuous but enlightening conversation with a full-time professional blogger, who earns money from advertisements in his blog. He said that it is crucial to head a blog entry with a controversial or at least actual topic, so that anyone looking for that issue would come to YOUR page.

You might think that I am following that advice right now.

However, I want to analyse the not very obvious connection between the Bauernbergpark Man and the current Olympic games.

Two years ago, the Bauernbergpark Man gathered gravel, for his small gravel heaps, when he moved backward and scared away a bird, a sparrow by the way. This bird flew to a nearby restaurant to get some breadcrumbs for his naturally occurring hunger. He found some and as an exchange gift, he defecated on the stone floor of the restaurant garden. I came along and walked into the faeces, thus carrying along the bird excrements to my home where I left my shoe in front of the door. How the shoe and the bird excrements find their connection to the women’s ski jump final in Sochi is obvious now, isn’t it. We (Austria) won a silver medal in this competition, and if the Bauernbergpark Man knew about all that he would be very happy about it.

Zu faul (too lazy)

Zu faul zu recherchieren sitze ich hier im Railjet von Wien nach Linz. Wäre ich nicht zu faul, so würde ich nach den zwei Gedichten nun ein wenig recherchieren und was in mein kleines Heiligenlexikon schreiben. Stattdessen schreibe ich noch einen Blogeintrag auf Deutsch. Ja ich bin sogar zu faul um ihn auf Englisch zu schreiben. So denke ich mal in meiner Sprache über den Bauernbergpark Mann nach und stelle fest, dass er schon wieder verschwunden ist.

Ja, zu meinen Blogregeln kommt dann auch noch dazu, dass man möglichst auch öfter die Sprache wechseln soll, um die letzten zu vergraulen.

Und wer Kant nicht gelesen hat, mit dem rede ich erst gar nicht.

Schmoll.

News again

Today I posted some comments to an Austrian news article on genetically modified corn. The more subtle and intelligent the post was the less reaction was there from the other posters. I received most feedback to stupid and polarizing posts. “How interesting”, I thought.

What lessons can be learnt for the blog? I will stop writing about the Bauernbergpark Man in a neutral, descriptive fashion. I will just write extreme right or left (depending on the weather) commentaries on world events.

This will give me the audience I’ve been yearning for all these blogging years full of sadness and solitude. But when will I do that?

Giving up writing about the Bauernbergpark and its dwellers is harder than giving up smoking.

But I will try tomorrow. I swear.

How to write a blog

Here are a few guiding principles (the ten commandments of blogging):

1. First read a book on how to write and don’t rely on web entries like this one.

2. Don’t write a blog at all. You keep ending up reading your follower statistics too often and lose your self-respect after a while.

3. Write about the Baurnbergpark or the Bauernbergpark Man as often as possible.

4. Don’t reveal your identity. Just wait until people queue up in the Bauernberpark to watch you and your dog go past to see how you really look like.

5. Irritate people by writing about as many topics as possible, even in one entry if possible. That avoids boring your audience.

6. Change occasionally to a sort of meta-narrative, talking about your blog or talking about your own stories. That irritates people even more.

7. Incorporate words like terror attack, Djihad, president and so on in close proximity to each other to attract at least the attention of the NSAs or of similar institutions.

8. Some name dropping like “Aristotle said…” or “I don’t like Descartes, because…” is also very important.

9. Use black background and white print until someone says: That hurts my eyes. Then you have achieved one of the bloggers’ holy goals: to have impact

10. Blog on